enjoying now.

I have this bad habit of always looking for the next best thing, thinking I will be happier when it comes along or when I get it. Only when it does, or I do, there is something else just out of my reach. It makes it very difficult to enjoy the present. When I was in college, I just wanted to be out in the "real world". When I was dating I just wanted to be married. In most places I have lived, I would anticipate the next move. In jobs I have had, I've been always on the lookout for a different one. Not to mention, I have thought when I lose this weight or have those jeans or go on that vacation I would be happy... finally right where I want to be.

The last year or so has been pretty different for me. I think I am learning to better appreciate where I am, what I am doing, and who I am. Someone told me that life is a process. When we make mistakes, we don't go all the way back to the beginning. We have learned new tools and experienced different things to help move us forward. Rather than try to fight our way to the finish, we should enjoy the process of getting there. This has been really helpful for me, especially when I am in a place that I really don't care to be in. Its funny how looking back, I can clearly see how each experience, job, whatever... good or bad... built on the next, and taught me something new about myself.

So here I am. Almost 27. Married to my high school sweetheart. Living in Costa Mesa. Working at the YMCA. I have been so blessed to find community and some really amazing friends in the last year of living here. I love working out at CrossFit Costa Mesa and feel more comfortable in my skin than I have in a long time. I am enjoying my job and the people I work with and train. I actually would not rather be anywhere else right now, and that feels really good.

I am reading a book right now called Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist, and I really like this quote of hers:

"This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. but pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted."