Yessss!!!!! I'm Normal!!!!! (kind of)

WARNING: to any guys who may read this I'm going to talk about "womanly issues" so if its TMI, just remember that I warned you. I know I blogged yesterday, but I'm too excited to not say anything. I should start off by saying I'm NOT pregnant.

Here is a little background... when I was in high school, a dermatologist prescribed birth control to help clear up my skin, so I took it and basically kept taking it through college, except for a few months when I studied abroad in Thailand. Two years ago, I went through a bit of a rough patch... got a little depressed, gained some weight, etc. During this time, I went to counseling and decided to take a break from the birth control. I was getting sick of taking it and paying for it, and had been on it so long that I wondered if it was having any affect on my mood. Combined with the counseling and the move to Costa Mesa and CrossFit, I started doing much better, my weight went back down... I was happier. I'm sure it wasn't all because I went off the pill, but I didn't really care to go back to it just yet... and I was curious what my body would do. I went 3 months without having a period, then 6 months, then a year. I did go to the doctor a few times, but each time they didn't see anything wrong with my hormone levels and told me that if I wasn't ready to get pregnant, not to worry about it. Even though I didn't want a baby right then and there, I was worried that my lack of periods meant that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant or that it would be really difficult for me. I was also worried that something else could be wrong with me, seeing as my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to.

Another year has gone by, along with more blood tests and a couple of rounds of Progesterone and Clomid to induce a period, with no luck and no answers. I have to say, I was also getting rather sick of the "You probably exercise too much" response. (FYI, 30min to an hour a day is not too much exercise... its actually recommended!) But today... I got it!!!! I'm normal!!!! and I am so happy (if you couldn't tell by all the exclamation points)... 1. that my funky mood and "uncomfortable in my skin" feelings this past week can be attributed to PMS! and 2. that it may not be as hard for me to get pregnant as I thought it would be (when I'm ready... which is not yet by the way). So that's all and I apologize if this made anyone uncomfortable, but clearly I don't care. I'm so happy!!!!! Feel free to congratulate me... haha!

I'm crooked.

One of my legs is longer than the other. No joke. It only took me 27 years to realize this. Last week, I was doing some snatch drills at CrossFit and noticed that my right foot was always slightly forward from my left. So I started paying more attention to my feet. When just standing around, I would look down... and sure enough, right always in front of the left! When I moved it back so they were level, it felt really off, like my hips were twisting. Today at the gym, Carrie brought some felt for me to cut so that it would fit inside my little leg's shoe. It feels kind of strange in there, but seems to straighten out the problem and hopefully helps with some other issues I have going on, mostly on my left side.

Following my little leg fix, I had a good workout. The last couple weeks have been pretty tough for me. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my knee and shoulders bothering me, even though I like to convince myself that its not. Aside from that, I have just felt like I've been in a fog. Yesterday was one of those days. It must have been, because at least four people asked me if I was ok, or told me I looked tired. Not a good sign. The truth is, I don't think I know what it is... or maybe I do, but I'm too lazy to really sit with myself and explore it. Perhaps I should. Anyway, the point is, today felt better. Not 100%, but better. My shoulder was feeling pretty good this morning and I was so glad to be able to do my workout as Steve planned it. I think I pushed myself hard. The weight on my cleans was maybe a bit light, but my form felt pretty solid and it was still hard enough to make me grunt a little... usually a good indicator that I'm pushing hard. I am just thankful that I could do it.

"Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure." – Jack Lemmon

passion.

I got a new book last week called Never Let Go by Dan John. On the outside its about weightlifting, but beneath that and all of Dan's humor (he really is kind of funny), there are some good life lessons. I am only a little over half way through (which is actually a big accomplishment for me), but I like it... may actually finish it! Here is one of my favorite parts... it really spoke to where I'm at...

"Passion is a word that doesn't mean what you think it means. It means to suffer. Now, that may not be how we use it today, but that's what the root of the word means, at least in the dictionary. Let's define it this way: Passion, to suffer for love. I think greatness comes to those willing to go past the sweat. I hear it all the time, 'Look, see, I'm working hard. I'm sweating.' Yeah, well, you'll sweat in a sauna too. It doesn't mean nothin'. You have to go past the hurt, too. The hardest thing to teach young men in football is the difference between being hurt and being injured. Injured means out; you're done for today, this week, this season. Hurt means you've just moved beyond the pain. Winners learn to live with hurt. In life, you're going to be hurt a lot. Passion is learning to push beyond all of this in the pursuit of your dreams and goals. Your goals are going to cost you in every nuance of the word: physically, emotionally, financially and all the rest of the 'allies you can find."

I have been struggling the last week or so with stuff... I can't quite pinpoint it, because nothing is really wrong. Life is good and I am happy. What it probably boils down to is me doubting myself, worrying too much about what other people think, and perhaps not sleeping enough. But what else is new? My CrossFit training changed a few weeks ago, and since then I have been in this constant state of self awareness... and my brain is tired. Let me tell you, it has been so much more than physical training. I've also been letting my knee and shoulder injury get the best of me a little bit. Its really not even about the injuries... but they are forcing me to slow down and think about my goals and how I am going to reach them. The injuries are a reminder that its not going to be easy all of the time. I have definitely given up before when things got hard... started to hurt a little bit. I don't want to give up. Jeff said to me today, "Just be you and do the best you can do babe." Somehow this brought things into perspective for me. So this is what I plan on doing... the best that I can, with passion (suffering for love). I won't give up.

thursday thoughts and dinner

I'm getting really frustrated with my knee injury. It was like a month ago that I tripped on that stupid bump in the road! Every time I drive by that bump, I curse it. My knee doesn't hurt all that bad, but its definitely not 100%, or even 80% for that matter, and because of this I really have to be taking care of it... icing, stretching, extending, etc. I am doing these things, but probably not as much as I could be. There are also several things that I have to be careful with or avoid in my workouts... running, jumping, heavy squatting... and this is frustrating because I like to be able to do what everyone else is doing. I'm not trying to whine... I know the reasons. I'm just mad that I had to go and fall and get myself into this whole mess! My shoulder was also bothering me today... which it has before, but these two things combined made me feel just a little discouraged today. My thoughts right now, as much as I don't like to say it, are that I need to take care of myself. I need to learn how to recover and rest and be patient :(

On another note, the Primal Challenge is going well so far. In all honesty, I haven't really changed anything. My thoughts at the beginning were that I would try to be a little more strict... to me this means, less fruit, less salt, no coconut ice cream for the 30 days. But... I still have a little carton of ice cream in my freezer and its SO good... especially with fruit on top. I'm telling myself that once its all gone, I won't buy any more for the rest of the month... we'll see.

Tonight, Sheena came over for dinner and I made meatloaf, spaghetti squash, and roasted brussel sprouts. It was all quite delicious if I do say so myself. The meatloaf recipe I got from Everyday Paleo, and the brussel sprouts... I cut in half, boiled for 3 minutes, strained, then roasted in the oven with olive oil, salt and pepper at 400 degrees for 15-20min. For the spaghetti squash... cut in half length wise, scoop out the seeds, and drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper, and put flat side down on baking sheet. Bake for about 40min or until soft at 350-400 degrees. Scrape the inside with a fork to make it "spaghetti". I also heated up some Puttanesca sauce from Trader Joe's to put on top of everything. Thats it!

photo: glad I can use that frozen corn for something!

30 day challenge!

Today kicks off Mark Sisson's 30 Day Primal Challenge. As most of you know, I’ve been eating a mostly Paleo diet... which consists of meat & fish, vegetables, nuts & seeds, some fruit, and little starch... no grains, dairy, or sugar... which goes without saying, no processed foods. I’m not exactly sure what Mark’s 30 day challenge entails, but I’m pretty sure it involves eating this way, or at least more like this. He is a little vague on his blog, but what I gather is that he will be posting daily info, challenges and contests where readers can choose to participate and enter to win some really cool prizes.

My friend, Sheena, and I went to Mark’s lecture a few weeks ago and have talked about doing this 30 day challenge. So, I just thought I would put this out there and see if anyone else is interested in giving it a shot. I can go on and on about how good I feel and how fun and strangely freeing it is to eat this way... but you really won’t know until you try it. I will also say that it took me a while to warm up to cutting out what felt to me like everything! I didn’t think it could be done, but I’m surprised how easy it is for me now. I actually wasn’t able to stick with it the first couple of times I tried, and I certainly wouldn’t want to push anyone into doing this if you aren’t ready for it, but know that if you would like to give it a shot... you will not be alone :) I hope to be good about posting thoughts, encouragement, and recipes on my blog over the next 30 days... especially if others express interest.

I realize that the day the challenge starts is pretty short notice... but don’t worry, you can start any time, and be keep in mind that everyone is in a different place as far as what they are ready to do/give up. You will reap the most benefits by following the diet more closely, but even cutting out the processed foods will be a huge step in the right direction. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. You can also do a little research on Mark’s blog... this is a good post that I found, as well as on this website (which lists all of the foods you can eat... there's a lot). Okay, I think that is all I’ve got for now. Its only 30 days... and you won’t be starving yourself really... eat as much as you want of real food. Its that easy :)

Paleo Snacks!

Here are some of my favorite things to munch on when my tummy starts to talk to me in the middle of the day:

1. Nuts! I eat a lot of almonds. I pretty much always have a ziplock baggie of almonds in my purse. Its very convenient. I like to mix the roasted & lightly salted with the raw almonds... seems to be the perfect amount of flavor for me. Pecans and walnuts are great too. I buy the big bags at Costco (except for the roasted ones which come from TJ's)... and I keep them in the freezer. Mom does it, so I do it... but I do think it keeps them fresh longer and they are kinda good cold :)

2. Raw veggies. My personal favs are baby carrots, celery, white mushrooms, cucumbers and cherry tomatoes. I always have them in the fridge and eat them often. Try dipping them in Tahini (the TJ's one is good)... not sure if its Paleo, but I think its close. FYI... hummus is good, but not considered Paleo since its made from beans... not Paleo because they need to be cooked to be eaten.

3. Nut butters. Did you know that peanuts are actually legumes? Yes, its true. So what I said above about beans not being Paleo goes for peanuts too since they fall in this category. This is why I made the switch to almond butter, and I think I like it better anyway. However, we won't split hairs over a peanut, right Steve? My favorite almond butter is Trader Joe's Crunchy Salted with Flax. It has the best texture. The others are good too though. I have recently discovered Cashew Macadamia butter and I love it... more desserty I think. Here are some things you can do with nut butters:

~Ants on a log: remember this one? spread almond butter inside a celery stick and top with raisins. Its cute. Its fun. Its good. Its good for you!

~Dip baby carrots or celery right into that jar baby!

~On fruit: over mixed berries in a bowl (strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, etc) or on an apple or banana.

4. Beef Jerky. I never used to eat beef jerky... except when hiking and camping. I have to say, there is quite a difference between the jerky at the grocery store and the jerky from a quality meat store. I started buying beef jerky at Celestino's on 17th street. Its a little more expensive, but I think definitely worth it. I don't go through it all that fast, so it lasts a while.

5. Larabars: These are the most Paleo snack bar that I have found... found at most any grocery store. They are just nuts and fruit mashed together. Perhaps a little higher in sugar due to the dried fruit, but natural, tasty, and very easy to grab on the go. All of the ones I've tried have been good.

This is all I can think of right now. Mostly I snack on nuts and veggies or an apple. I think its good to get a mix of protein, carb and fat... so I try to keep that in mind. The key is just to keep your fridge stocked with these things, so that when your tummy starts talking, you don't reach for the Cheez-Its (which can sit on your shelf for a good long while before going bad). So throw out the junk and eat some real food!

give me grace.

Today's workout was called "Grace". Its 30 clean and jerks at 95 pounds for women, 135 for men. I really really wanted to do this workout at the prescribed weight. I stared out at 95, did 3 reps, then tried several more and just couldn't get the weight over my head... or more accurately, I wasn't getting myself under the weight. So, I took off 5 measly pounds and was able to finish the workout at 90 pounds in 13:16. This is quite slow, and I was the last one to finish (by quite a bit).

Although I was a little disappointed that I couldn't do the workout prescribed, and my form was pretty ugly, it felt good to go so heavy. I would have never imagined myself moving so much weight over my head a year ago... even 6 months ago. I know I am gaining strength, but also confidence and mental toughness. The highlight of this workout though was the encouragement that I got from my CrossFit Costa Mesa friends who stuck around to watch me finish and cheer me on. I feel so blessed by this community. Next month, our gym is participating in an event called Amazing Grace to raise money for breast cancer, where our gym will do the Grace workout again. I plan on doing it at 95 pounds and beating my time!!

photo: me and my "field mouse" face (taken by c. worden)

Recipes...as promised!

Hey all, with all of my food posts (yes, I like food :), a few of you have asked me for recipes. Now I cannot take full credit for all of these, but I am happy to share them with you and I will include the blogs or whatever that I got them from. I thought what I might do is list some of my typical breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack and dessert foods... so you get a better idea of all of the yummy things that this "paleo diet" does include.

I pretty much eat one of these three things for breakfast:
1. Smoothie Bowl (my creative name for it): banana, frozen mangoes, frozen mixed berries (just the fruit, no added sugar... I shop mostly at Trader Joe's), and almond milk (not 100% paleo, but good enough for me). Blend in a blender, pour into a bowl, throw some sliced strawberries, peaches, blueberries... whatever fruit you have, and nuts (I really like pecans)... and you're set! Eat with a spoon. So good!
2. Eggs: usually 2-3 fried. I like to pop the yolk. A little salt and pepper. Put sliced avocado, tomato, and fresh basil if you have it... sometimes I put sliced ham on top too. By the way, eggs from the farmer's market are the best... really, they taste better.
3. Paleo Pancakes: mash 1 banana in a bowl, then add 2-3 eggs, and a little almond milk if you have it, add almond flour, coconut flour... or a combo of the two until you get a batter like consistency, then add cinnamon to taste and perhaps a dash of vanilla extract. mix it all together and pour into a hot skillet. Use coconut oil if you have it, otherwise PAM works fine. I like to keep them on the smaller side, then cut up some berries to put on top. Also good with nut butter or nuts on top and maybe drizzle a little honey. This is more of a weekend breakfast for me.

On to Lunch:
1. Bell Pepper Sammies (all credit goes to Chris Worden for this one): Slice a bell pepper in half, and stuff it with all your favorite sandwich stuff... i put cherry tomatoes, red onion, avocado, sometimes cucumber if i have it, sliced turkey and/or ham, yellow mustard, ground pepper, and top with lettuce.
2. Big Tuna: 1 can tuna packed in olive oil, drained. Add some chopped red onion and green olives... maybe 3-4 of 'em (stuffed with garlic is good), lemon juice and ground pepper. I also pour some of the juice from the olives into the tuna to make it a little moister (I got this one from Paleo Plan). Good by itself or on lettuce.... or in a bell pepper sammy, rather than the meat!
3. Salad: okay, I make a lot of random salads, so I'm just going to list my favorite toppings and I've probably made all possible combinations with these:
lettuce: i usually mix baby spinach with mixed romaine.
proteins: salmon (usually when its leftover), Big Tuna (above ;), roasted turkey and/or pepper salami (both Columbus brand at TJ's), or ham (I like the Neiman Ranch mini hams at TJ's... just slice some off and cube it to throw on top). Hard boiled eggs are good too, but I rarely make them even though they're easy. Oh... bacon too! (bacon, egg, turkey combo makes for a good cobb salad!)
veggies: red onion, cucumber, celery, cherry tomatoes
other toppings: avocado (a must on ALL salads... and pretty much anything else), nuts (I like sliced almonds or walnuts best), golden raisins, sweet potato (a little strange, but so good... poke it with a fork and microwave til kinda soft, then cube it and throw it on your salad... trust me!)
dressing: my most favorite is olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and lemon juice... I don't measure, I just drizzle all on top. Sometimes I also squeeze a little dijon mustard on top... very good on the cobb type salad. Plus ground black pepper.
Really, you can't go wrong combining any or all of these toppings with whatever protein... even if it seems strange.

wow... that was long. I think I'm going to have to stop there and continue with dinner on a different post, because this is already overwhelming, even for me. In the meantime, try some of these out and let me know if you have any questions, recommendations, or... anything really!