CrossFit... its about time that I blog about it

Probably anyone who cares about reading my blog knows that I do CrossFit, as I have maybe become a bit obsessed. My first post about it was over a year ago when I was still very much a newbie. You can look back at it here if you like. A lot has changed since that post, both with me and with CrossFit Costa Mesa where I work out. When I started, we met in Alec's garage and there were only two class times a day, 6 or 7 pm, two trainers, and one rowing machine. Last summer we moved into a large warehouse and are now up to six classes a day, several more trainers, and six rowers, and there are new people coming in every week. It has been really incredible to watch it grow and even more incredible to see more lives transformed with increases in strength, endurance, mental toughness and confidence across the board. It is motivating, inspiring, and fun.

I have changed a lot too. I was instantly fascinated by CrossFit and felt at home in the CF Costa Mesa community. I would show up each time with butterflies in my stomach, anticipating what the workout would be and wondering if I would make it, but ready to push myself hard... harder than I ever had in my gym workouts or running. I remember my CrossFit beginnings clearly... doing jumping pull-ups (more of a jump than a pull-up), getting awkwardly slammed in the face with the medicine ball while trying to do "wall balls", being afraid to push press a 45 pound bar over my head, not knowing what a clean or a snatch or a thruster were. It has taken time and practice and lots of sweat, but I recently started doing real pull-ups, I've pressed way more than 45 pounds over my head, I have learned better technique and form for the various lifts and movements, and with all of it more confidence and the knowledge that I capable of so much more than I ever would have thought. I know that I will finish each workout, even if it is painful and takes me longer than I think it should. (Note: I do still get hit in the face with the med ball from time to time :)

Not only have my workouts changed, but also the way I eat, and most importantly the way I feel about my body. The CrossFit community really leans toward what has come to be called the Paleo Diet, which I wrote about a couple months ago (read here). I was pretty hesitant to try it given my aversion to "diets" and past struggles with food, body image, etc. However, I found that eating real, not processed foods... mostly grass-fed meat, fish, lots of veggies, fruit and nuts... made me feel really good. It makes sense to me to eat this way, and to my surprise, did not feel restricting at all. I eat when I'm hungry and I don't think twice about calories or fat. The biggest, and to me the most important change that CrossFit has brought to my life is feeling comfortable in my skin. For a long time I did a lot of hating on myself, constantly wishing I looked like someone else, doing the comparison thing, wishing I were more disciplined with my workouts. It was miserable. I had few goals and little motivation. I came to CrossFit Costa Mesa just after a pretty low point in my life. My focus shifted from exercising primarily to look good, to exercising to get faster and stronger and meet new goals. It was so much more rewarding and fun, and my attitude toward myself has totally changed and I am way happier. I don't think its even possible for me to go back to where I was before CrossFit.

So this week I am home after nearly three weeks of trotting all over Europe, while eating lots of gelato, with the love of my life... and I am back at the gym. Although it is no surprise to me, going back felt a little different... like I lost so much and now have to catch up. I also found myself struggling a bit more with my thoughts after the time away... wondering why I can't lift as much or go as fast as some of the other girls, or why my progress seems slower than others. But as I have been thinking more about it, I realize that its not about being better than anyone else. Its about me just being better for me... pushing harder, lifting more and moving faster than the time before, and striving for new goals for myself. The reality is, there is always going to be someone who is better, and all I can do is work as hard as I can to try to catch them; and that is enough for me. If CrossFit has taught me anything, it is not to give up. So despite my aching body and a little self-esteem dip, it feels really good to be back in the gym, sweating alongside my CrossFit friends. Light weight!