Sad Reality

This week is eating disorder awareness week. The topic is dear to my heart as anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and distorted body image have affected myself and people that I love in one way or another. The statistics on eating disorders and body image are shocking and sad:

*Over 1/2 the females between the ages of 18-25 would prefer to be run over by a truck then be fat, and 2/3 surveyed would rather be mean or stupid. -Gaesser, G. (1996), Big Fat Lies: The Truth About Your Weight and Your Health.
*51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet. -Mellin LM, Irwin CE & Scully S: Disordered eating characteristics in girls: A survey of middle class children. Journal of the American Dietetic Association. 1992
*The average woman is 5'4" and weighs 140 pounds. The average model is 5'11" and weighs 117 pounds. Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women. -Smolak L. (1996).

I could go on and on with these stats...

I have no doubt that the media plays a huge role in how women and men perceive themselves. We are a society that, on one hand, advertises cheap, unhealthy, highly processed foods, yet does so with attractive, thin models. It is no wonder we are confused and frustrated and unhappy with the way we look. My heart breaks to think about how many young girls are already dieting and calling themselves fat and ugly.

I got into personal training 2 years ago with the hope that I could encourage people, especially women, to be comfortable in their own skin, to learn how to exercise and eat well, and to be free from the lies that they have been told by others and by the media. It can be hard not to get caught up in it... caught up in counting calories, exercising obsessively, negative self talk, and feeling guilty when you "mess up". I know, because I have been there, and sometimes my mind still goes there.

I have learned some very helpful tools over the last year and a half: One of them is no "fat talk"... with friends, with your spouse, with yourself. I used to try to get Jeff tell me that I was fat, or that I had gained weight, and I would get so frustrated that he wouldn't. His response was often, "If you have gained weight, then I like it!" Grrr!! Instead, I learned to talk more about how I feel... like, "I'm feeling uncomfortable in my skin today." Or, something Jeff and I came up with that always makes us laugh: "I'm having a BOD day." Then he knows, and I know and we move on. I got rid of our scale. My counselor asked me once, "Why do you weigh yourself?"... because I like to know how much I weigh. "How does it make you feel when you see the number on the scale?"... usually crappy. "Then why do you keep doing that to yourself?" Hmm... good point. So I got rid of it, and I feel much freer.... I am not defined by a number. I learned to listen to my body... this doesn't mean that I always do, but I know how. The goal for me is to not restrict, but to listen to how my body is feeling... am I hungry? am I full? do I really want ice cream, or is it just a habit or coping mechanism? I learned that freedom from poor body image and eating disorders is a process. Just because I had a "bad day" or I "messed up" does not mean that I am back at square one. It is just part of the process. Each time, I learn something new and I try to use the tools that I have learned and reject the lies that have been so ingrained in my mind.

I love this video, made by Dove's campaign for real beauty: Dove Evolution

What we see in magazines and on billboards is not reality, so why do we set ourselves up for failure? Instead, take an honest evaluation of who you really want to be and why. Make goals that are realistic for you. Be kinder and more forgiving with yourself. Recognize and reject the lies that tell you you are not good enough, thin enough, pretty enough. They really are lies.

"Only freedom from fear, freedom from lies, can make us beautiful, and keep us safe." -Anne Lamott (Traveling Mercies)