Every so often I like to look back in my journal to what I was doing and thinking about on this day last year. I did this today. I was in Mumbai, India. It was the second to last day of my trip, on which I got really sick. I was ready to come home. I went to India with another girl from the non-profit organization I spent a lot of time volunteering for (International Princess Project). I have traveled a fair amount to other countries... Mexico, Thailand, Guatemala... but India is a whole other thing. Its crowded, hot, full of funky smells, and cows in the middle of the road and crazy drivers. Its a little overwhelming to say the least. I had always been so certain that if I was single, I would be off living in some third world country doing who knows what... eating with my hands and walking around in the dirt barefoot or something like this. I tend to glamorize things... which can be good sometimes, but more often can lead to disappointment. I learned a lot on my trip to India. I was reminded how easy and comfortable my life is compared to so many. Yet sometimes I think its harder to live here in Orange County, Ca because there are so many distractions. Its so easy to get caught up in little things that don't really matter. I am easily distracted from living a purposeful life. I have good intentions, but quickly find myself sitting on my butt wondering what I should do now.
A couple weeks ago my wise coach asked me what I really want and what am I doing to get there? To be completely honest, I haven't thought about this question all that much until today. What do I really want? There are several things that quickly come to mind. I want to love what I do... career wise I mean. I want to help people be healthy and happy with who they are. I want to be stronger and faster in my CrossFit workouts and want to compete. I want to be a good wife. I want to be a mom... someday. I want to be more patient and generous. I want to have fun and laugh a lot and be grateful. I want to have more faith in God and his plan for me. Maybe these things are a bit broad... specifics can be scary. I think they require more commitment. But this is a start.
Now, what I am I doing to get what I want? Eeek... this is the hard part. As far as loving what I do... this has been a long work in progress. I do love CrossFit, so this is the direction I see myself going, but I lack confidence in my knowledge and coaching abilities, which makes it hard. But I'm doing it and I'm learning... however, I know there is more I can learn to be better and more confident. This goes along with helping people be healthy and happy :) To be stronger and faster... well, I'm working out and am pretty sure I'm getting stronger and faster. Again, the hard part is believing in myself... that I can do it and even beat people. I'm signed up for what I would consider my first real CrossFit competition on December 4th. My goal is give it everything I've got and not quit... and try to have fun despite the nervousness. Be a good wife... I fail daily, but thankfully Jeff is very gracious. This may sound dumb, but something I've been doing lately is ask Jeff if its okay if I go on Facebook before I do... so he knows I'm thinking about him and... okay, I told you it was lame, but I think maybe he appreciates it. Be a mom... I said someday, so not really working on this one yet :) Be more patient and generous... also a constant work in progress. I've been doing pretty good at having more fun lately and this probably has to do more with the people in my life than with me, but I'll take it. As far as laughing, we all know I laugh the hardest at my own jokes, so I guess I'll just keep being funny... thats an easy one! Have more faith in God. For me this means making time for God in my day... to read, pray, be still. Its hard, but I am working on it. I started reading Oswald Chambers again. Its short, thoughtful, pretty spot on. It at least gets me thinking about God in the morning and ideally helps me to be more aware of him in the various things I do throughout my day.
So, thats what I'm doing. Its not much, but its a start. And I didn't go into all of the nitty gritty, because that would make this already long blog even longer. What do you really want? What are you doing to get there? Think about it.
Peace out homies.
No comments:
Post a Comment