Tequila!

Now that I have your attention, this blog post isn't really about Tequila. Its about my guitar lessons. Strange connection, I know. I will explain. So a couple months ago, my fabulous friend, Liz, mentioned that she wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I got the contact info for a teacher from my friend, Jared, which I passed on to Liz. I mentioned to her that I would be interested too, seeing as I've had a guitar since high school, and still pretty much suck. Anyway, Liz and I finally worked out a time and started taking our weekly half hour guitar lessons with Tim, who is super cool by the way. He has the same shoes as Jeff, which is besides the point, but I always notice them.

So for our first lesson, Tim gave Liz and I some tablature to practice. If you don't know what this is, you're not alone... but its basically pressing one string down at a time and strumming just that string... I think. I'm not good at it, even though that description sounded really easy. Our first song was Tequila (thus the title of this blog post)... however, Liz and I were so slow that it was nearly impossible to make out that we were even playing a song... so when we would finish, we'd just yell out "Tequila!"... that way there was no confusion. We would be rockstars in no time.

So my hope for these little lessons with Liz was that they would motivate me to practice during the week. Yeah... no. The last two weeks, the only practicing I did was 20 minutes before heading out the door for the lesson. Tim has fired us like 4 times already, but he was late last week, so I think we're even.

This past Tuesday, I kind of mentioned that I wasn't so sure I would continue with my lessons, since practicing is clearly not so high on my priority list. If it was, I would be doing it. I want to play the guitar well, but I don't really want to practice. I thought about CrossFit and how I want to be stronger and faster, and I do want to practice. I enjoy it, even when I suck. I don't feel the same way about my guitar. So when I broke the news, Liz looked totally bummed and Tim started crying... no, not really. But they were like, "You're breaking up with us?!" I feel terrible. We have one lesson left before I have to decide. Sadly, I'm thinking I'm going to have to postpone becoming a rockstar. Liz. Tim. Its not you, Its me.

Photo: Liz and me at the CrossFit games.

wish i would have given a little more.

So today I went into the gym for my workout feeling pretty good and excited to be there. I really enjoy my workouts at CrossFit and I am especially anxious to get better at my lifting. I've been watching a lot of videos lately on olympic lifting, so when I get ready to actually do one in the gym, I can see in my head what it is supposed to look like. I only wish my body knew what the heck it was doing. Today, I picked up the bar to do a snatch and proceeded to lose my balance and fall on my butt. Very cool. However, not my first time and probably not my last.

Anyway, onto the workout. I am starting to think my coach, Steve, knows my capabilities more than I do. Maybe this isn't a surprise? I mean, he is the best (Steve, I hope you read that :) I frequently think that I can do more than what he plans for me, however when the workout gets going, I quickly realize how dumb I was for asking "that's it? are you sure?", and I'm thankful that he laughs and doesn't give me a taste of my own medicine. On the other hand, he often knows I am capable of more than what I think (as I tend to be a tad hard on myself), which I am also thankful for.

So... my workout today consisted of 2 minutes of cleans with an awkward 40lb sandbag followed by 10 snatches ... 3 times with rest, then 2 minutes of double unders followed by 10 back squats...3 times with rest. For whatever reason, I am kind of frustrated about my performance. Though I felt ready, I don't think I really was ready... I didn't feel like I was pushing myself as hard as I could have and so now I feel kind of lame. It was definitely really hard and I got pretty darn sweaty doing it, but I guess I just don't feel like it was good enough... like my mind wasn't in it or something. Part of me thinks it was my lack of technique and confidence with the snatch that slowed me down, not to mention, I can't quite string my double unders together, so they were always interrupted and slow. Even still, I couldn't make myself go any faster on my cleans or back squats... I just couldn't motivate myself to move today. Frustrating.

That's all really. I guess I just needed to write it out. Back at it tomorrow.

p.s. Jeff got a ring muscle up today! what a stud.

photo: me... not getting my f-ing elbows up & Steve, bearing brunt of it.

Eating Good Stuff

Tonight I went to a seminar given by Mark Sisson, author of "The Primal Blueprint" and several other books, but better known to me as the "Mark's Daily Apple" guy. I was going to blog about all of the benefits of eating a Paleo diet... or as Mark likes to call it, "Primal Eating", but I am really not good retelling information that I learn. It makes sense in my head, but when it comes out of my mouth its like... processed food... bleh!

The seminar did further solidify for me why cutting grains (especially) from my diet is a good thing... deep, I know. As you probably know, I'm not at all a sciency person, so I won't even try to explain that side of it to you. I am a feely person though, so what I will tell you is that over the past five months of eating Paleo, I feel so much better than I have ever felt... at least that I can remember, not to mention I am stronger and faster in my workouts.

The funny thing is that it really is pretty effortless. I don't worry any more about how much or when I'm eating, as long as its meat, fish, veggies, nuts, seeds, or fruit, I'm good to go! So I guess that is all I am going to say... except that I highly recommend you check out Mark's books or his blog and explore the thought of cutting grains from your diet... even if its just a 30 day experiment... see how you feel. That is how I started, and I really can't imagine going back. If you want to know more about my experience of eating this way or have questions, please don't hesitate to ask me :)

Also, check out this little news clip with Mark Sisson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z91yWqXYztM&feature=player_embedded

thoughts.

This morning, my mom (who is in town for the weekend) let me leave her for a few hours so that I could go to the NLP CrossFit competition in Irvine. Really, she was okay with it. We had 3 guys and 1 girl from our gym competing, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to cheer them on. I love these competitions, especially when I know people doing the workouts. It was especially encouraging to watch Carrie today. She placed first overall in her first workout. Carrie is bad ass, and I know she has worked really hard to get to the point she's at.

I feel like I watched the workouts and the athletes a little differently today. I guess this is because I have never before put myself in their shoes... you know, envisioned myself being out there. Competition makes me nervous... with those awful waves of nausea (normal... I know... I think). I actually had them today... all day... and I wasn't even doing anything. But, combined with with my nervousness, there was excitement. It feels good to have a goal to be working toward... and for it not to be another marathon (training = slightly uninteresting). I always seem to do better given a little direction, otherwise I get distracted or unmotivated or just bored.

Today I really wanted to lift heavy stuff... which is not all that heavy (yet)... and the point being, I realized how much I love CrossFit because everything in me wanted to overhead squat (and I don't even like overhead squats). I realized I dont just love it because its cool and fun and my friends do it, but because its changed my life and is constantly changing the way I see and feel about myself. I love it because it forces me into those dark and uncomfortable places that I wouldn't otherwise go to, and then brings me out a little tougher.

Still though, that small but evil voice in my head is telling me I'm dreaming too big. I should take it down a notch. I'm getting too far ahead of myself. I hate that voice. I hate it because 99% of me is tempted to believe it.

The whole puzzle is intimidating... but one piece at a time is definitely doable. So I'm trying to remind myself of that. Good analogy, huh? Anyway, these are my thoughts... with only a little filtering.

What's with today, today?

I am tired today. My body is achy from my workouts the last few days and I am sleepy from going to bed too late and waking up too early. Tonight Jeff went to the OC Fair with some friends, but I just couldn't muster the energy to brave the crowds... even though this means missing chocolate covered bacon, deep fried butter, and pig races. Instead I cooked myself some salmon for dinner and have been lying on my couch with an ice pack on my knee (a result of last week's fall while running... smooth, i know), reading CrossFit articles and listening to my new favorite album on repeat (check it out).

I feel myself just going through the motions at the Y lately... maybe its because my position is new and I dont quite know where to start. Mostly though, I think its that I am so much more excited about CrossFit. I just love being there. I love the people, the atmosphere, the intensity. I struggle sometimes with training people at the Y. Even though I try to bring in the knowledge I have gained from CrossFit, it is often not what people want. They want to get in better shape, but don't really want to work for it. Maybe they don't want to get in better shape... maybe they just want to hang out with me? They're mostly old though, so I guess that's okay, so long as they move a little bit!

Have I mentioned that I have confidence issues? (Weird transition of thought, I know... but that's me). Hey, I have confidence issues. There I said it. No, not in all things. I mean, when I get comfortable with someone, I get comfortable... just ask Jeff. I think its mostly in my abilities... in school I never thought I was smart enough, in jobs I don't think I am qualified enough, in the gym I don't think I am capable or strong enough, in my relationship with God I don't think I am good enough. I'm afraid of failure and of letting other people down, so I play it safe. I talk myself down. I bail when things get tough or when the end result is unclear. I distance myself. Why? I don't know. Why is it so much easier to see the potential or success in others? I believe in other people way more than I believe in myself. I like that I can be an encourager in this way... I just wish I could be as kind to myself. Hmmm. On a positive note, I am so lucky to have people in my life that see in me what I don't always see in myself and push me to be a better and more confident person.

Anyway, random thoughts. This is what happens when I let Jeff go to the fair and leave me at home alone with my wandering mind. Maybe I'll watch 'So You Think You Can Dance' now.

love these girls...

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." -C.S. Lewis

This week I got to spend a good amount of quality time with some of the girl friends in my life. Three of my closest college girlfriends came to Costa Mesa for lunch at my house on Thursday. It is always so good to catch up with these girls who know so much about me... the good, the bad, the goofy... and still love me. We are in pretty different places in life, but when we are together, it is safe and comforting. I know that I can always count on them to listen and to pray for me. I did miss one though, who doesn't live close enough to drive here for lunch, but who is never far from my thoughts. On Friday, I went shopping with Alison. I met Al only a year ago and I am so thankful for our instant friendship. I can't even imagine my life in Costa Mesa without her in it. It is such a blessing to have someone to go through the day to day with... and to get sloshed with ;) I also hung out with some of the CrossFit Costa Mesa girls... these girls have become my community, especially over the past several months as we have started doing more things together. We talk about our workouts and new paleo recipes we've tried, and we laugh a lot. My life without these girls would be slightly less interesting and slightly more lonely. And of course there is Pi, whom I didn't really get to choose as a girlfriend... but if we weren't sisters, she would be that cool girl that I always wanted to like me, so I really lucked out there. All this to say, it was a good week... because of all of the incredible, beautiful, inspiring ladies in my life. I love you girls.

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though she knows that you are slightly cracked."

Lately...

Jeff and I find it funny lately to say, "Remember when we went to Europe?" It feels like a dream... but the hundreds of photos on our computer remind me that it wasn't. Things have changed a bit in the last couple of months since returning home... or at least it feels this way. I started a new position at the Y as the coordinator of a program for diabetics. When I said "yes" to being the contact person for this program almost a year ago, I had little idea of what it would look like, and its turning out to be a much bigger thing than I anticipated. It is exciting though to be challenged in my job and to be able to be a part of helping people get healthy. I am realizing that I have a lot to learn about... well, everything.

I also started coaching at CrossFit Costa Mesa... something I honestly did not think I would do for a couple of reasons... one being my fear of losing my love for CrossFit by making it my work, and two, that I felt unqualified and I suppose just not good enough at it myself to teach others. After a couple months of coaching one night a week and helping out with our on-boarding class, I can see that there is more to coaching that just knowing a lot of stuff... though this would definitely be nice! I am learning a lot as I go and gaining confidence thanks to the guys who have coached me over the last year and a half and who continue to challenge me and push me to be better. I feel blessed to be able to work someplace that I love. And while on the subject of CrossFit, Jeff recently joined the cult and is doing absolutely amazing... I'm pretty sure he loves it.

I guess there is not much else to report... though it feels like we have been so busy lately and have something going on every weekend in August. Since its late and I'm getting up early, I suppose I'll end with a quote... because that just seems appropriate, and easy.

"The real tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his life braces himself for his one supreme effort, who never stretches to his full capacity, never stands up to his full stature." -Arnold Bennett